Name Change

August 24, 2011

OKAY LISTEN I’M BACK AND I’M SORRY I DIDN’T CALL, BUT IVE JUST BEEN REALLY BUSY WITH WORK AND FIGURING OUT MY LIFE AND BEGINNING-OF-THE-SEMESTER PARTIES (nah, for real though I’ve been working hard and doing important significant shit and I’m sorry I took a break from writing, but I’m back and I intend to start pushing posts everyday like I used to because I think it is really important)

A BRIEF UPDATE-I still have an appointment set up for August 31st and still totally bummed I didn’t make the one on the 15th. I’ve been calling the office everyday hassling the phone-answering-people to see if there have been any cancellations, but my attempts have thus far proven useless.  I guess the 31st isn’t that far away anymore, I guess its only next Wednesday, I guess that means almost a week?  Wait a second…FUCK YES!  Time to get cranked up again!  Sad days are over and now I’m counting down the hours until that initial appointment!  I dare someone to try to schedule me for work that day…In other news, I’m currently battling a kidney infection, which was the result of an angry UTI that refused to go away.  Took a trip to the ER this past weekend, almost immobilized with pain, but got some antibiotics and percs and I’m doing alright…In other news still, my job at Banana Republic is proving to be a lot more fun than I thought it would.  I get to flirt with all of the older, wealthy, gay men (because they think I’m a young gay boy) and then I tell them they look handsome in whatever they are trying on (which is generally always true, I don’t think I have the heart to tell someone they look dashing if the clothes are genuinely ill-fitting) and then they buy expensive things and then I look like I know what I’m doing (when in reality I’ve never sold a suit in my life)!  It is a win-win for sure….The last of the other news, my family stuff hasn’t gotten a bit better.  Maybe actually a bit worse as far as my parents go.  The great divide has begun, as in they’ve taken their names off all my bank accounts and cancelled the cards they were co-signed on, they are in the process of taking me off health insurance, I mean, it’s really happening.  My little sibling moved out of the house and started college at UNCG for music (on scholarship might I add, and also let me say that they are hot shit on campus right now, in part because of their prestigious scholarship that only 3 people out of their entire class got, but probably mostly because they are so fucking cute…gotta brag a little, I’m a proud big brother) and since they aren’t in Mount Pleasant anymore I really have no reason to go visit other than to get the rest of my stuff out of my parents house.  It’s gotten bad, y’all.  I’ll elaborate more when things start becoming clearer in my mind, but right now I can’t even comprehend some of the stuff that’s happened over the past couple of weeks.  YIKES! Sooooooooo, wanna talk about name changes?

There is a process.  A legal process.  A very long, time-consuming, costly, inconvenient legal process.  Here’s my problem (and why I haven’t already gotten a legal name change): you have to request a name change in the county of your legal residence, which for me is where Mount Pleasant is located.  My name is not on the lease where I live right now and none of the bills are in my name and my NCDL (North Carolina Driver’s License) has my MP address on it, so I have no way to prove that I even live where I actually live.  In order for me to request a name change I would have to get a bill in my name, so that I could prove to the DMV that I live here, so they could change it on my license, or I just have to go back to Mount Pleasant to do it.  But y’all know the name-changin’ office isn’t open on the weekends and poor boys gotta work so I’m not trying to take off work to drive down there during the week.  It’s just a whole mess.  And on top of that it costs money that I just don’t have (I think it really only costs 40 bucks, but with gas money to get to and from Mount Pleasant that’s probably totaling around 75 bucks and GEEZ I could live off 75 bucks for probably 3 weeks).  I found a way to do it online, but seems kinda sketchy to me…all-in-all I just haven’t been able to find a convenient time to make a trip home (but it’ll happen soon because my parents are moving and want me to get the rest of my shit out).

The initial name change is the easiest part though.  Once you go through the courts and get approved for a name change you have to fill out a whole crap ton of paper work for basically every organization you’ve ever given your name to: doctors, lawyers, IRS, Social Security, banks, schools, jobs, postal service, ANY kind of service (internet, electric, cell phone, basically anything in your name), insurance, the passport bureau, I mean EVERYTHING, EVERY PLACE, and EVERYONE needs a detailed, hand-written, lengthy application of name change. And it seems exhausting and I am dreading it.  But totally worth it, right?  I definitely think so.